First off, I was overwhelmed by the response of the Bieber crowd to this blog on Sunday. By far, the biggest day since I started this thing. So thank you all for reading.
That said, the following entry is *NOT* for the Bieber folk. You have been warned. Don't read below the dotted line of this entry.
Ok, let's begin.
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You ever catch yourself watching something that you're initially embarrassed to be watching, and then suddenly you can't look away? Well, it happened to me the other night with the AVN's on Showtime.
If you know what the AVN's stand for, you should be ashamed of yourself! Now, for the rest of us, it's the Adult Video News Awards show. It's the porn industry's answer to the Oscars.
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As I was watching this freakshow, many thoughts occured to me. I will describe for you the bizarre theater that it created. But more importantly, I thought, there are some interesting parallells between this show and the Oscars.
The Hollywood industry may tout their integrity over the porn industry (doing it with a straight face while still cranking out such quality work as "Ghosts Of Girlfriend's Past"). But, I think it's interesting to note: the biggest night, wasn't that different.
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Both started with a red carpet. For many Oscar fans, this is a key moment. Seeing Hollywood's biggest names, all dressed up and ready for their moment. It's the equivalent of Super Bowl hype, people start watching the pre-show hours in advance, building to the cresendo of the actual event. The Oscars are all about what you are wearing.
The Porn awards are all about what you are *not* wearing. Let's just say the outfits weren't exactly Bar Mitzvah attire. It replaced glitz with something that rhymes. Plus, none of the nominated performers knew 'who' (or what) they were wearing. For example, the questioner would ask, what are you wearing, the actress would reply "a dress." The other difference is, none of the actresses knew what they were nominated for. They would all stumble and bumble their way through their response. 'I'm up for best group, setting, scene, internet.'
I must say, what you lose in glamour, you more than make for in idiot.
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My favorite part of the porn award was the following. The winners actually became emotional while giving their acceptance speeches. That boggled my mind. You sure you want to thank your family? Your fans? I don't know. I don't think people walk around in your jersey.
That's what makes the night so bizarro. That industry, and people who rent those types of movies, are usually filled with such shame (that is more an American phenomenon than any other country). And yet, on this night in Las Vegas, everyone is so unabashed about who they are and what they do. It's almost touching.
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The other difference is the pacing of the awards show. At the porn awards, there were no technical awards given, there was no 'year in people who died,' there were no musical tributes: The show moved like it was double-parked.
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And then there was this. This is the part of the night that baffled me, and frankly undermined the spirit of the night.
They gave an award to a young lady (and I use that term incredibly loosely), for 'best cross-over star.' She had won several awards on the night (apparently she's gifted with many talents), but also starred in a movie directed by Steven Soderbergh (it's called 'Girlfriend Experience' about a Manhattan call-girl. It actually may find its way onto my Netflix Queue).
And that was seen as the biggest honor of all.
The ability to cross-over to mainstream.
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My question is why? Why is crossing-over seen as the highest level in that industry? The night seemed to be about flaunting convention. It seemed to be about telling mainstream Hollywood, we don't need you, we have our own party (and in our mind, it's cooler).
But underneath it all, I guess any one of the 'best group' performers would trade it all for a real statuette.
Horray for Hollywood!
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