My Love-Hate Relationship With...

I'm constantly interested in my relationship with facebook (pictured, you try to come up with a visual pun for facebook).

One might argue that I'm slightly obsessed.

My girlfriend likes to call it the "third person in our relationship" (even though without facebook there likely wouldn't be a relationship).

But my relationship with the social networking site has changed, as has the site itself.
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I first heard of social networking in the same way I've heard about anything else that's cool in my life, from my brother.

Years ago, he encouraged me to join friendster. I didn't. I just didn't see the point in tracking down people who I had barely wanted to talk to in high school.

Then, myspace came along. I literally only created a profile because I had a friend who was OBSESSED with it. So I joined the bandwagon. There were only two things I liked about myspace. I liked updating my profile song. And I really enjoyed when the fake ladies would ask to be my friends. I appreciated the female attention. However, seeing as myspace was only for teenagers and pedofiles, and I was neither, I decided to evolve to facebook.
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I was somewhat of an early adapter to facebook. I know that because I can name about 10 friends who I told they HAD to get on this thing.

The appeal was instant.

I loved the concept of status updates. At the time, I was making a few bucks writing one-liners. What a great place to workshop. Plus, as an incessant texter, I could save myself having to mass text 10 friends, by just posting a status update.

And honestly, I've always kind of THOUGHT in status updates. About 10 times a day, I'll think of something that I think is either clever or interesting. Rather than telling it to my basketball-shaped black and red Miami Heat pillow, I can now tell it 400 of my closest friends.

Plus, I could use the chat function to chat with my siblings. It was perfect.
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And then it BLEW UP.

And that changed facebook.

Now, it's a vehicle for self-promotion. And EVERYONE is using it.

From politicians, to every news station, to political groups, it's not just a place to putz around anymore.

Bosses are becoming your friends.

And know this, once you're friends with your boss, that changes what you say.

The site is no longer a repository for random thoughts.

One must censor one's actions.

Which is fine I guess.

It's just another public medium.

It's not like I was posting bikini pictures before (though much to my chagrin, someone did tag a shirtless photo of me at Calle Ocho--- skinny jews do not look good shirtless at Calle Ocho--- hence I de-tagged it ASAP).
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I think about the social implications of facebook OFTEN.

Here I am.

28 (soon to be 29) and I'm sitting at home, reading an update from a girl who I haven't seen since 12th grade?

Or I'm scanning through 45 photos of a wedding I wasn't invited to.

Why the hell do I care?

I don't know or like this person, but I can't stop looking at their profile.

How bizarre is that?

The answer, it's not.

EVERYONE is doing it.

Which makes it even stranger to me.

Simultaneous stalking has become the norm.
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The other downside of facebook is this.

People don't usually post a bunch of pictures from the nights when they're feeling fat, rent a movie, engage in self-loathing, and then go to sleep.

They're usually the more joyful, fun times.

When you're looking at facebook, not always the times you're out and about.

And so, the people in the picture are USUALLY having more fun than you.

Friends or not, that can't be healthy for your self-image.
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On top of that, facebook creates a myriad of abnormal situations.

The "relationship status" question comes up in ANY and ALL relationships.

How soon is too soon?

There's not a person on there who hasn't (or doesn't) check up on ex-girlfriends or boy-friends.

It's only natural.

There's a certain level of curiosity and being as EVERY human on planet earth is on there, it's only normal to look.

Then there's the question of de-friending and re-friending.

People have public meltdowns on there, which is always entertaining. (the next time you want to write a 'woe-is-me' status, pick up the phone and call one of your 235 friends).

Then you get friend requests from strangers.

And high school teachers.

It's just ****ING strange.
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But I know it's the new reality.

We as a society have said, collectively, when pretending to work, I want to putz around on this site.

And so we've all agreed to waste time... together!

That's a strange place to be at.

In our boredom and isolation, we've formed a new community.

Closer than ever, and yet more detached, such a strange paradox.
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Twitter came along RIGHT as facebook got too big.

There are definitely elements I like about twitter (follow me by the way @dukielang).

I think twitter is a place of information.

I read articles there.

I learn facts.

I can follow people I respect.

I've always had a problem with the language of "follower." I must prefer "friend." Because I want to see what you put on your page, that doesn't make me a follower. If anything it makes me a fan.
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But twitter just ain't facebook.

Yeah, it's not the same as it was when I first joined.

But the concept is beautiful.

Who knew that two dorks at Harvard who were just trying to get laid, would change all of our lives so dramatically?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go post a link to this blog entry on my facebook page.