
Can't get clean.
Scrub as I might, I wash and rewash. I try the bar-soap, I try the hand-soap, I try the liquid gel. I resort to using Pert Plus.
I can't seem to wash the smell off of me.
Did the dog secretly drop a deuce in the bathroom that I can't see?
I couldn't possibly smell that bad.
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The year is, well, about any year between 1984 and 1994.
I've just come from another lopsided Canes victory at the Orange Bowl.
I forced my mother to drive me two-hours early to the game, and wouldn't leave until I saw each touchdown of the absolute obliteration.
Those games were just like watching a Tyson fight.
Just like Tyson had the knockout before the opening bell, the Canes usually knocked out their opponent the second they ran out of the smoke.
We wait an hour for the car parked directly in front us. Yeah, our "no blockie" spot FINALLY clears out.
And just like that, we leave Little Havana.
To top it off, I need to hear the locker room show, just so I could listen to the guys revel in their latest annihilation.
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But back to the shower, you could spend hours in there.
You could call in a team of NASA scientists, washing off the smell of the Orange Bowl was a task above anyone's paygrade.
God I miss section U, Row 65. God I miss that smell.
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And that's the perspective from which I'm going to write this particular blog.
I'm going to throw off my "journalist" hat and speak as a fan.
A fan who watched too many consecutive wins at home, a fan who once drank out of the dip-cup of a stranger who was wearing overalls, a fan who listened to loonatics chant "AH-OH" at any female who had the audacity to walk back to her seat, a fan who was thrown into the garbage can by linebackers and taken out by the kicker (thanks Greg Cox).
So yeah, 9 win seasons don't make me happy.
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I love that Randy Shannon (not pictured) doesn't have a contract after this season.
I think it's the best scenerio for Randy and I think it's the best scenerio for the University of Miami.
Right now, Randy Shannon is Rod Tidwell in Jerry Maguire.
He's betting big on himself.
I like that.
Either he's right about what he's built here and stands for a monster payday.
Or...
He's wrong, and thanks for playing.
You have to respect that.
Randy's got stones and Kirby's smart.
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I know it's early May.
So why am I talking about University of Miami football?
I just feel like it.
During the off-season, fans like to kick around the "we should beat them," "that's going to be a tough one" emails.
I think it's all non-sense.
I have friends who sat with me in section "U," die-hard Canes fans, who are scared of games like Pittsburgh and Clemson.
I refuse to accept that.
If the University of Miami is afraid to play a Wannstedt-coached team, then they're not a real Canes team.
I don't care what the rankings say.
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We've been told for so long that Randy Shannon is an expert recruiter.
Perhaps that's true.
But, we haven't seen it, yet.
Doesn't mean it's untrue.
But we can't say that we've seen it.
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Kick this one around Canes fans.
I asked this to a friend on the phone today.
How many players from last year's team, would have played a SINGLE DOWN on the 2001 National Championship team?
We're talking 10 years ago.
And I'm not talking based on potential.
I'm not talking based on the eye-test (Aldarius Johnson LOOKS like an NFL Pro Bowler).
But based on what they've shown.
A single down.
My answer: 1.
I think Allen Bailey would've found his way onto the field.
That's it.
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If Randy Shannon is going to get a BIG contract offer from Miami, we need to revisit that question in 8 months.
If we don't say at least 5, Randy likely won't be here.
I'm not saying the potential isn't there.
I'm just saying, I want to see it now.
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There are areas to give Randy a LOT of credit for.
He did change the culture at Miami.
I can't remember the last Cane to get into trouble with the law.
The sheriff up in Gainesville must have Urban Meyer on speed-dial.
Two dozen plus arrests in the last few years.
So it's nice to lose the "thug U" reputation. (a reputation that wasn't particularly fair given the way Miami was graduating players back in the day).
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Here's the other beautiful part of Randy's no contract situation.
Let's say Randy is right.
Let's say this turns into a BCS-caliber team.
Let's say Jacory gets invited to New York for the Heisman and the Canes are awesome this year.
Randy can tell the school to shove it.
He can leave and take a big job elsewhere.
If he gets the big payday, who could say he hasn't earned it?
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I know that Sun Life Stadium is an antiseptic building.
It's lovely with its great suites and sightlines.
There's ample parking and the smell is like fresh potpourri.
But just because I can't get that Orange Bowl funk on me, doesn't mean the Canes can't return to greatness.
The first step is to stop accepting mediocre.
There's no doubt that Randy has improved the Canes from 5 wins to 7 to 9.
But the next jump has got to be even bigger.
I refuse to get excited about 4th round draft picks.
I refuse to applaud overtime losses to ACC opponents.
I'm sorry, I'm more afraid of Justin Bieber than I am of Dave Wannstedt.
Canes fans, don't accept average.