Least Valuable Player

Bobby Moynihan (unfortunately pictured) is the least talented cast member that "Saturday Night Live" has ever had.

I don't say that for hyperbole's sake.

I've been watching the show for over 20 years.

He's the worst.

He's supposed to be the funny fat guy: He is neither fat nor funny.

He's literally done nothing funny in his time with the show.

Considering this is a show that has given us John Belushi and Chris Farley, that *THIS* is the only zaftig comedian that they can find, is disgraceful.

Last night, his "Snookie" impression was the height of non-hilarity.

The only reason I like this guy, he gives me practice in using the fast-forward button on my new tivo.
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Despite one clear waste of space, I think SNL has had its moments lately.

The Betty White/Jay-Z show was the highlight of the season.

It's a shame that wasn't the season finale.

The Alec Baldwin/Tom Petty show was tough to watch.

It's as if the crew wasted ALL of their good writing the previous week.

The skits weren't just bad, most of them were TOO long.

If a joke takes NINE minutes to develop, it had damn well better be funny.

There were a FEW moments worth mentioning on the positive side.

I really like Bill Hader's bit on Weekend Update where he recommends 'hot spots' in town. Still, it wasn't as funny as the first time he did it.

The microwave time machine skit was decent (albeit painfully long).
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Alec Baldwin is a great SNL host.

He's a gifted actor and has comic chops.

Next time, perhaps you don't spend the whole week reading press clippings about the Betty White show, and instead, you know, do some actual writing.

Oh and Tom Petty, don't be afraid to play one of your hits.
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A fellow SNL fan, will retort to this breakdown.

His comments will be posted in the comments section.

I eager to hear what "Diss Bank' has to say.

Please read it.

The worst part?

Next week they're airing the repeat with Justin Bieber (wish I were kidding).

White's Night....

When I first read the facebook campaign to have Betty White (not pictured) host "Saturday Night Live," I was skeptical.

I thought, how random?

This was probably just people creating a false sense of 80's nostalgia for the "Golden Girls."

I thought, people don't actually want this, they just want to sound COOL by wanting this.

I just didn't get it.
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Much to my surprise, Lorne Michaels actually obliged the masses and let Betty White host the show.

It's one of the better decisions he's made in a while.
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I have now watched the Betty White episode of SNL 3 times on my DVR.

I thought she was incredible.

Truly.

And not just incredible for an 88 year old.

Incredible for an SNL host.

Her sense of comic timing, her acting, she was outstanding.

This isn't just 'let's laugh at the old lady to be nice.' Betty White was foul, crass, dirty and hilarious.
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Perhaps, having the vessel of an 88 year old charming woman, gave the writers the freedom to cut loose.

Frankly, you can get away with ***t when you have a nice old lady say it, that you couldn't with anyone else.

Between "Wizard of Ass," "Barking up the wrong lesbian" and the entire "muffin" sketch, it was one of the raunchiest SNLs in recent memory.

But the laughs were real.

And it helps that SNL brought back so many talented female cast members, Tina, Amy, Rachel, Maya....

Really shows you where the lack is now.

The show needs to rely a little less on Kristin to bring ALL the female funny.

It needs a few more strong female cast members.
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Betty wasn't the only highlight of the show.

It's easy to say Jay-Z is your favorite rapper.

But Jay-Z is mine.

I thought his first performance, taking all that time, going through so many of his greatest hits, it was a real treat.

He brought his A-game to SNL and even gave a shoutout to Betty White after his second song.

The set was also worth noting.
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SNL is a challenge for ANY actor.

Plenty of people have sucked at it.

Look Betty White is almost 90.

To give performances like she did, at that level, at that age, it was truly inspiring.

It's nice to know that you can still do what you love, your whole life.

Plus, I was truly touched watching the cast members interact with her.

When they brought her flowers at the very end of the show, I was moved.

Much like with the movie "Up," I love seeing older people being treated with dignity.
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I thought this started out as a facebook hoax.

But what it turned into was a populist movement to honor an actress, who used the spotlight to shine.

Get yourself on hulu and start watching clips from the show.

It was an instant classic.

Fear For Our Future...

I"ll admit, I'm no music critic.

But, as someone with ears, I think I'm qualified to say, Justin Bieber, you suck.

I mean, you are very bad at singing.

You're not very good at dancing.

You need a haircut and you need to go back to 3rd grade.

There I am, peacefully trying to enjoy my "Saturday Night Live," when all of a sudden some child with a John Lennon-haircut pops onto the stage.

It took me all of 3 bars to grab the remote, in disgust, horror, and ennui.

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I had heard his name before on Conan O'Brien's twitter. He always jokes about selling out more concerts than Bieber. But now, I fully realize why Conan goes after the kid.

Look, it's not a crime to be a bad singer. I am. The difference between me and Bieber is that I don't subject countless millions to my awful lack of skills.

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Maybe I'm just getting old.

Maybe at 28 (soon to be 29), I don't understand the struggles of a kid born in 1994.

Must've been tough growing up with a Sega Gensis in your crib.

I'll admit, the twilight kids scare me.

Every last one of them.

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I get it Lorne Michaels. I really do.

If you put on this kid, millions of 12 year olds will set their tivos.

You'll win over future fans by putting on this ball of stinks-at-his-job.

I'm just saying, I would've liked a warning, like when newscasters show an offensive piece of video.