I"ll admit, I'm no music critic.
But, as someone with ears, I think I'm qualified to say, Justin Bieber, you suck.
I mean, you are very bad at singing.
You're not very good at dancing.
You need a haircut and you need to go back to 3rd grade.
There I am, peacefully trying to enjoy my "Saturday Night Live," when all of a sudden some child with a John Lennon-haircut pops onto the stage.
It took me all of 3 bars to grab the remote, in disgust, horror, and ennui.
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I had heard his name before on Conan O'Brien's twitter. He always jokes about selling out more concerts than Bieber. But now, I fully realize why Conan goes after the kid.
Look, it's not a crime to be a bad singer. I am. The difference between me and Bieber is that I don't subject countless millions to my awful lack of skills.
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Maybe I'm just getting old.
Maybe at 28 (soon to be 29), I don't understand the struggles of a kid born in 1994.
Must've been tough growing up with a Sega Gensis in your crib.
I'll admit, the twilight kids scare me.
Every last one of them.
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I get it Lorne Michaels. I really do.
If you put on this kid, millions of 12 year olds will set their tivos.
You'll win over future fans by putting on this ball of stinks-at-his-job.
I'm just saying, I would've liked a warning, like when newscasters show an offensive piece of video.
