Right off the bat let me say this.
I will not 'Duke Lacrosse' Lawrence Taylor (not pictured).
There's a huge difference between raping a 16-year old prostitute and being accused of raping a 16-year old prostitute.
So, I will give LT the presumption of innocence.
But I can't say I was surprised to see him in handcuffs.
I can't pretend like this is some sort of fall from grace.
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Denial is an important tool for any fan.
If you are truly passionate about someone, you have to block out their flaws, otherwise your image of them will be ruined.
Before you go calling me a fan-boy, psychologists have a name for this phenomenon. The trouble with holding two contradictory ideas at the same time is called cognitive dissonance. We as human animals, do our best to avoid it.
Needless to say, today wasn't the first day I've felt it as an LT fan.
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I don't need to give you LT's resume as a football player.
On the field, he was my favorite of all time.
He was the most disruptive defensive force I've ever seen.
But the best part of watching LT, you could always count on him. At all times, the Giants had the best player on the field. He was the baddest man on the planet. And he was going to make a decisive play.
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Indulge me this personal memory.
It's the 1990 NFC Championship game.
The 49ers are leading in the 4th quarter.
The Giants need a miracle.
My brother and I are in my parents bed.
We are huddled around a mini-helmet of the Giants.
We're dying for SOMETHING, ANYTHING to happen.
The Niners give the ball to Mr. High Knees, Roger Craig.
He puts the ball on the ground, and son-of-a-bitch if it isn't LT who recovers the ball.
Matt Bahr kicks the game-winning field goal.
Two weeks later, I put on my 56 Jersey (with Lang on the back) as my entire family drives to Tampa to watch the Giants win their second Super Bowl in my lifetime.
I'm not exaggerating here, that moment with my brother was one of the best of my life. If I were dying "American Beauty"-style, that would be one of the pictures that flashes into my head.
I will never forget how nervous we were BEFORE the play, and how excited we were after it.
56 made it happen.
The Giants had won, and we had a chance to go to the Super Bowl, and it was all thanks to LT.
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Flash-forward 20 years, and I'm at work, watching channel 121.1 as Lawrence Taylor is facing charges for allegedly beating up Jodie Foster's character in "Taxi Driver."
How am I supposed to wrap my head around that?
How do I separate the genius football player who brought so much happiness into my life, with the clearly-flawed man who has had battles with about every demon that a human can face?
How do I parce out the beauty of his work with the ugliness of his life?
Why should I even care?
He's a 51-year old stranger who I met briefly to sign a book at the Emerald Hills Country Club.
I don't know LT.
So why the hell did it bother me so much????
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And honestly, being a "good guy" was never part of his appeal.
Bill Parcells' greatest move as a coach, was keeping a blind eye to everything that LT did.
I know that's harsh.
But Parcells has two titles. LT has two. Irony?
I like Parcells, but the reason his "genius" defensive philosophy hasn't won a title in 20 years, is because he hasn't lined up 56 on the outside. That's it.
LT was able to carry on and do whatever he wanted, because he was a star.
Now he's not.
Now there are consequences.
That's been tough for him.
He's not the first ex-jock to run into that issue.
Nor will he be the last.
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To me, the really shocking moment was when LT went on "Dancing With The Stars." I thought, who are you trying to fool?
Even though he was decent in "Any Given Sunday," was LT ever going to appeal to soccer moms???
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Guilty or innocent in this particular case, I say this as a Giants fan, I don't think things will end well for LT.
What's left for me is the problem of my cognitive dissonance.
Let's say he IS convicted for raping a child.
How then can I say that child rapist sure brought happiness to my life?
I'm so confused.
I think I'll go throw on a Roman Polanski film.
