Why I Hate Emoticons....

My brother (not pictured) told me that if I wanted more activity on the blog, I'd have to take harder stances.

He said I'd have to tackle controversial subjects and say inflammatory things.

So how about this: Emoticons go ***K yourself :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's a multiple choice question for you.

By adding an emoticon two sentences ago, I proved that
A. I was kidding
B. I'm a 12-year old girl
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emoticons are the death of human discourse.

They represent a low-point in communication.

They're a grownups way of say "not!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know.

We're all communicating in various forums now.

Many of them are new, most of them are written.

Between texting, im-ing, twitter, facebook, and all other social messaging means, we're writting to each other more than ever.

And on rare occassions, that can lead to misunderstandings.

But that doesn't mean we need to resort to emoticons.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People use emoticons to test limits.

A guy can tell a girl, let's go back to my place :)

By putting the ridiculous little symbol, this goes from a direct invitation for coitus, to giving that guy an out if the request backfires.

I say, Man up! If you want to say something, go for it.

I'd love to read the sexual harrassment lawsuit where the accused says, "No, I wasn't harrassing her, don't you see the smiley face."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
People need to mean what they say, and say what they mean.

Get to your point already.

Don't mask it.

If you write "My dog was just flattened by a truck"... you don't need to throw in the :(

I'm pretty sure from context clues, I can gather that you are sad.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emoticons aren't creative, they stifle our ability to express ourselves.

They are weakening our vocab and create a new, dumber version of ourselves.

Look throughout history's great documents, find any emoticons?

If we were able to write the Declartion of Independence, Federalist Papers, and Constitution without emoticons, I'm pretty sure you can communicate with Bob in accounting without using them.

Grow up :)