R.I.P Wildcat Offense-- Sept. 21, 2008-Sept. 26, 2010

We are gathered here today on a somber occasion.

We are saying goodbye to an old friend, the Wildcat offense (not pictured).

Wildcat, we loved you so.

You brought our town joy.

You tricked the Patriots and made the Dolphins relevant again.

You died tragically, on national tv, against the hated Jets.
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Oh Wildcat, you quirky little formation.

You were such a charmer.

I'll never forget when Ronnie went deep to Patrick Cobbs against Houston.

We thought you'd last forever.

Nothing ever does.

You will be used around the league.

But alas, you were just a gimmick play that helped a mediocre Fins team shock the NFL, win a division, and then get summarily crushed by a Baltimore team that simply didn't fall for that ***T.
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Before Brandon Marshall, you made so much sense.

The Dolphins best two playmakers were Ronnie and Ricky, why not let them handle it as much as possible????


Now, you have a stud wide receiver and a developing, talented quarterback.

The time for tricking people is done.

The defense may feed the wolf (a Sparano-ism for the uninitiated), the offense needs to feed the Beast.
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Dan Henning... Why rely on an offense based on the element of surprise, when it isn't surprising anyone?

Every time the Jets defense couldn't get Chad Henne out of rhytm, the Wildcat did.

The Wildcat will always have a soft-spot in the Dol-fans' heart.

But much like Old Yeller, time to tie it to a tree and shoot it.

It was fun while it lasted.

Why I Can't Wait For Jets-Dolphins...

As I've said multiple times on this blog, I'm a New York Giants fan.

And yet, I can barely sleep tonight in anticipation of the Dolphins showdown with the Jets (not pictured).

There are so many storylines to this game, that my head may explode.

I'd try to rank them, but what good is that.

Instead, I'll just lay them out and ask you to pick your favorite one.

As Mad Dog Jim Mandich told me on Tuesday, this is the biggest Dolphins game in years.

How can you argue?
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Return Of the Prodigal Son:

Jason Taylor talked a whole lotta ***t about the Jets in his time with Miami.

He was always good for a soundbite about REALLY hating the Jets.

You'd almost believe him.

Until, he decided to sign with them.

I don't expect loyalty in sports. Those values are long gone.

So, you can't blame JT for leaving Miami a second time.

But the Jets? Really? That just smells of desperation. Any fan of the Fins is perfectly within their rights to wish him failure.

I do.
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Marshall vs. Cromartie

Antonio Cromartie might not be able to name all of his kids, but I'm sure he knows who his daddy is.

That's because the LAST time Cro tried to cover Brandon Marshall, he set the NFL receptions record.

Well, Revis pulled a hamstring watching Randy Moss posterize him last week.

That means, Marshall is going to be one-on-one with a man he LOVES to torment.

How will that play out?
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HYPE VS HOPE

The Jets lead the NFL in hype, bombast, and self-esteem.

They sure love themselves.

Just watch "Hard Knocks."

The Dolphins are quietly and cautiously optimistic about this season's chances.

This trend is epitomized by the two coaches.

Rex Ryan: a WWE parody of a human being.

Tony Sparano: passionate, but doesn't talk about it.

On defense, you have a team that KNOWS how good it is, against a team that THINKS it is worthy.
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QB BATTLE

This question will be asked for the next decade.

Who is better: Mark Sanchez or Chad Henne?

Fins fans are down on Henne.

Clearly, the training wheels are on as the defense dominates.

Sanchez was proclaimed the worst QB in football, until he wasn't.

Was his performance against the Pats the real deal?
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Opening Night

On top of ALL that, it's opening night.

The Fins will have all their orange carpet hype and LIV nightclub debuting at the stadium.

Truth is, Dolphins fans hate the Jets and visa-versa.

This is a true rivalry when both of these teams suck.

Now, they're both good.

They're in the division.

A win positions Miami 2 games ahead of New York with a game in hand.

A loss and the Jets and Fins are tied with NY holding the head to head advantage.

I think you get the picture, this is a big game.

Can they kick it off already please?

Trimming The Stache...

Well that didn't go as planned for Dave Wannstedt (not pictured).

The Canes manhandled Pitt on Thursday night 31-3.

The game could've been a whole lot worse were it not for a few mistakes by Jacory Harris.

Pitt was BEGGING Miami to beat them 52-0, but Miami settled for 31-3.

But, in all, you can't be too dissatisfied with a blowout on the road.
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I'm trying to figure this out.

Is Miami's defense that good or is Pitt's offense that bad?

I honestly think it can be a bit of both.

Still, Canes fans HAVE to be feeling better about their defense today than they did last year or even last week.

Sean Spence was the standout.

He had 11 tackles and looked every bit as promising as he did early in his freshman year.

The question with Spence has never been speed or talent.

The question is: Can he sustain it over the course of a long season?
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Allen Bailey clearly is the focal point of most offenses trying to game-plan around Miami.

We have to double-team the potential first-rounder.

That's fine.

Vernon and company, door is open.

Props to them for walking right through it.
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Special teams are one of the true strengths for Miami.

Travis Benjamin SHOULD have had another punt return for a touchdown, but it was called back.

Lamar Miller gets you dreaming big every time he touches it.

Bosher is a stud, and does everything well (remember he was team MVP before---which also speaks to how bad they were at the time).
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So defense and special teams are sound, the team wins by 28, and the quarterback throws for 2 touchdowns---what's my problem?

Jacory's picks.

That's what.

They weren't late and irrelevant.

They kept Pitt in the game early, when they were doing nothing.

It looked like Jacory had pulled the pin out of a grenade and was just throwing it in a direction hoping to hit a target.

You can get away with that against an awful Pitt team.

You learned last week that doesn't fly against Ohio State.

Turnovers like that can be deadly in Death Valley.

While you like that he's trying to make plays, the risks need to be more calculated.
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Truth is, the Canes have 9 days off before the real season begins.

Randy Shannon needs a championship.

While the National Title may already be gone, I think a dominant run through the ACC would go a long way.

A bowl game after New Year's day, that extra practice time, and an ACC crown, that would be a step for this program.
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I keep trying to impart this word of wisdom to my friends and anyone who cares about the U.

It's a variation on Rick Patino's 'Larry Bird isn't walking through that door' speech.

The 2010 Canes are NOT the 2001 Canes and they aren't the 1986 team either.

Let's not judge them by that standard.

That's not fair.

Let's allow these kids to be inspired by the ghosts of Canes past, not haunted by their shadows.

Instead of constantly expecting Miami to do the same things they DID, let's evaluate these kids based on their accomplishments and celebrate those.

Tonight, they went on the road and kicked some major ass.

Let's enjoy that.

We Get It, You're From Boston....

I don't hate Ben Affleck (not pictured--- think TV commercials).

In fact, "Good Will Hunting" is one of my favorite movies and he has cred with movie geeks for his View Askew-Kevin Smith connections ("Chasing Amy" is a personal favorite as well).

So, I went in to see "The Town" REALLY wanting to like this movie.
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It was okay.

It wasn't bad.

I'm not going to pan it.

I sat there for over 2 hours and was moderately entertained.

I just wanted more.
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The conceit is interesting enough.

There's a small area in Boston (called the Town), where a large number of bank heists and armored truck robberies emanate from.

Ben grew up in that town, and wants out.

But every time he thinks he's out, they pull him back in.
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Of course, there's a love interest in the movie.

The way that part of the plot is crafted, to Ben's credit, is well done.

There's also good narrative tension created in the "will they get caught" vein that motivates the movie.
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So what's missing?

Boston itself serves as one of the characters in the movie.

As director, Ben is trying to glorify where he's from, much in the same way Woody Allen tries to create his own unique vision of New York.

Ben wants the accents, the grit, blah blah blah.

It just feels forced.

There are times where I hear so many long "A" sounds that I wanted to get in my CAH.

I get it.

There are some mean streets in Boston.

It's a tough town.

Oh Ben, you're so working class.

I'll totally forgive you for Gigli.

Honestly, if "The Departed," were never made, I would've liked this movie better.

Are you really going to try to outdo Scorsese?
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It's clear that Ben Affleck isn't just another pretty face, and really does love movies.

He's clearly studied them--- ("Gone Baby Gone" was actually really good).

He's just hasn't perfected making them yet.

Can't Believe I Even Have To Write This...

You know... I thought about just ignoring the issue.

I really did.

But, it bothers me enough that I think I have to mention it.

This blog is to the IDIOTS who were sending Jacory Harris racist messages on Twitter.
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Hi,

Welcome to 2010.

I know you haven't been here in a while. Allow me to bring you up to speed.

Plessy vs Ferguson (1896) has been overturned. There was a little case called Brown vs Board of Education (1954) which says, black students and white students can go to school together.

The Civil Rights Movement happened.

Thousands of people sacrificed their lives for equality in this country.

Jim Crowe no longer exits.

We all drink from the same water fountains and use the same restrooms.

There was a guy named Jackie Roosevelt Robinson. He played for the Dodgers, he did this incredible thing, integrating baseball.

Now, in every sport, people of all races are allowed to play at the same time.

There was this guy named Doug Williams.

He was a quarterback who won the Super Bowl MVP in 1987.

Incidentally, he's black.

Oh, and I hope you're sitting down for this one, our current President, he's biracial.
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I know.

I know.

A lot of information to take in for such small brains.

But yes, our society has made incredible advances.

The whole offensive question of the "black quarterback" was a hot topic, somewhere around the 1970s.

Watch this "Monday Night Football" Open from 1973 where Howard Cosell talks about Joe Gilliam filling in for Terry Bradshaw...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOkgcFj6MJQ


We've all moved past that.

Remember, the clip was from 1973.
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I don't judge Jacory Harris by the color of skin, nor should you.

I judge him by the quality of his play.

Criticizing his interceptions is fair game, his race, that's not.

The only color I care about is the color of the jerseys of the guys he throws it to.

Last week, he threw it to too many guys wearing Ohio State colors.

Hopefully, on Thursday night he gets it to his teammates.

And doesn't let bigots distract his focus.

Brotherly Beatdown...

The Manning brothers (not pictured) met on Sunday night.

It was the most lopsided brotherly beatdown since Cain and Abel squared off.

After the game, Peyton took the high road.

He turned down an interview request by NBC's Andrea Kramer.

Why would he want to say anything bad about his brother?
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Peyton, are you out of your mind?

What's more fun than teasing a sibling, particuarly after a humiliating loss?

How is it, that I've never been able to live down some losses in Tecmo Bowl from the mid 90's, but you just kicked your brother's ass (in front of the country), and don't want to say a word?

My brother would've RIPPED the mic out of Andrea Kramer's hand and free styled a rap about being the superior Lang.

He would've hired a gospel choir to sing: "I'm Better Than You," "Mom Loved Me More," and "We Haven't Told You Until Now, But, You're Adopted"... and a host of other tunes that he wrote during the week.

The final score would've been spray painted on my house.

I would've done the same.
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See, but I think Peyton's a little smarter than that.

I think *NOT* doing the interview is the ultimate form of teasing.

Thought you'd pull a fast one.

Not only did you prove you are the superior quarterback, but now, you also look like the better person.

You didn't just get straight A's, you also helped little old ladies across the street.

I'm on to you Manning.

Nice try.
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To be perfectly honest, Peyton shouldn't be SO hurt that his team beat his brother's.

This was a regular season game.

They both have Super Bowl rings and MVP trophies.

Little brother will be fine.

I think Peyton made a bigger deal about it by NOT talking at the time.

Winning a regular season game is nice, teasing a sibling lasts a lifetime.

He almost made it seem like it was a bummer.

Please.

Poor Cooper.

The Power Of Q....

This blog is brought to you by the letter "Q" (not pictured).

It's a rating used to determine the favorability of an athlete, celebrity, or politician.

This week, we learned that LeBron James' so-called "Q" rating had him as the 6th least popular athlete in America.

I will attempt break down what that means to LeBron by looking at a few other events in the news and how "Q" colors perception.
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Today, Udonis Haslem was cleared of a pot charge.

He was pulled over, there was weed in the car, U-D said it wasn't his.

The state attorney agreed.

Throughout his legal process, however, people weren't THAT mad at him.

On one level, it was weed.

While illegal, having a little green in your possession doesn't exactly incite the moral police.

Secondly, Udonis had just lost his mother and I think people felt badly for him.

But most of all, I just think Udonis is beloved in South Florida.

He's a team captain and Mr. 305.

He's been the heart and soul of the Heat franchise for a while, and people simply liked him.

Imagine if Michael Beasley had been pulled over for the same violation?

The power of Q.
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Let's stay with the Gators getting arrested theme.

This week, Urban Meyer had his... what is it... 30th player arrested.

Chris Rainey allegedly sent a text that read "Time To Die" to an ex-girlfriend and has been charged with stalking.

Urban Meyer has two national titles.

So while the thought is naughty-naughty, no actions are being taken.

He wins, therefore he has Q.

If Randy Shannon had 2 players arrested, there would be calls for his firing IMMEDIATELY.

Thug U would be back, and Randy would be unemployed.

Different standard because of Q (just to clarify, Gators fans like Meyer the coach, not the person. By all accounts he's a surly dude).
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Derek Jeter did something shady the other day.

He was up against the Rays in a critical game.

A ball clearly hit his bat.

He acted like it hit his wrist, the Umps awarded him first base.

To me, it was sad because he's so bad these days, that's his only way to get on.

While there have been a few columns calling him "Jeter Cheater"... the outrage has been tempered by his likability.

He has enough stored up Q that while people roll their eyes, they don't REALLY care.

Substitute in Jeter for AROD?

Woody Paige's head would explode right on the "Around The Horn" set.
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I think you get the point I'm making.

While it's fine and even fun to be the bad guy sometimes, it puts you in a dangerous position.

LeBron James' margin for error in the public sphere is nonexistent.

The stakes are higher than he's ever had to deal with.

The sad part about reputations are they take a LONG time to make, and just seconds to lose.

Keep It In Your Pants Jets...

I'd like to say a few words about Ines Sainz (not pictured--- as if you haven't already googled her) flap involving the New York Jets.

And those words are: Grow up.
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For those of you know are uninitiated, where have you been this week?

Ines Sainz is a reporter for TV Azteca, a Mexican outlet, who wanted to interview Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez (perhaps she was doing a story on how to get lots of media attention, without actually being good at football).

Sainz is a former beauty queen and dresses slutty.

So, you'll never guess what happens next?

Apparently, the boys started hootin' and hollerin' and creating an environment that made the reporter uncomfortable.

It got so bad that Jets owner Woody (yes, I see the joke, no I won't go there) Johnson had to call to apologize.
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Gentleman, this is an NFL locker room, not Shawshank prison.

You've never seen a woman before?

I don't care WHAT that reporter wears, act like a professional.

I've seen Sainz before in person.

She was at Super Bowl media day.

OK, she's attractive.

Who cares?

I still had a job to do.

Somehow I managed to not act like I was at a construction site (is that sterotype even true about construction workers whistling at hot women? Let's just assume so for the purposes of my argument).
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We've all been inside the Jets locker room this year with 'Hard Knocks.'

We know that they're a rowdy bunch and like to have a good time.

That's all fine.

What's not fine is to sexually harrass a woman trying to do her job.

People who are making the 'she shouldn't dress like that' argument (I'm looking at you Clinton Portis), 1972 called, it wanted its gender norms back.

Female journalists have just as much of a right to cover sports.

Even if she's being unprofessional with her attire, what the Jets did is still not OK.

Maybe if they spent more time working on their offense, and less time staring at the reporter, they wouldn't suck as much as they do.

Sid Rosenberg vs. Dukie Lang Round 2

For those of you who don't know the backstory... here's the original set of circumstances...

http://dukielang.blogspot.com/2010/08/radio-daze.html


This morning Sid Rosenberg was the media guest at the Miami Dolphins Touchdown Club.

After the show, Sid and I met (not pictured).
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I considered not talking to him.

Perhaps there was bad blood.

I didn't know what he initially said, but I got the gist.

He wasn't a fan of what I said on facebook.

But I figured, here's drive-time host in Miami vs. unknown ghost writer, what the hell do I have to lose?
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So I walk up to Sid and say, "Sid Rosenberg, Dukie Lang."

He immediately begins to laugh and blush a bit, like his hands were just caught in the cookie jar.

After a moment, Sid extends a big bro-hug and an apology.

'I'm sorry I talked about you on my show. I felt bad. It was my producer Victor who told me about it.'

My response was, honestly, I don't care.

I think it's great, but, next time you talk about me, could you plug the blog?
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We continued to talk about his show.

Captain Curtis walked over and told me, don't chicken out.

Sid said, 'Nope, he's telling me what he doesn't like about my show.'

I offered my main criticism which is, there's too much bombast. The natural silences are filled with 'me-me-me.'

Sid took the criticism well and with a great deal of humility.

I couldn't help but think of the Howard Stern movie.

On the air, Howard was as in-your-face and offensive as you can get.

But as soon as the red light goes off, he was just a dude.

Sid seems the same way.

He knows his schtick.

I think one of his greatest gifts as a broadcast is utter self-awareness.

He's positioned himself in Miami as a New Yorker, who is a Miami fan, but not really a Miami fan, who is a Giants fan, but says nice things about the Jets.

Basically, he's trying to be an instigator on the air.
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Off-the-air though, I can say first-hand, he's a man of his word.

Sid said he would plug my blog, and low-and-behold, first block of his show, Sid starts by giving out the URL and mentioning our encounter.

I may not always like Sid's schtick on the air, but as a person, he gained my respect.

Question to you blog readers: Did I let him off too easy?

Entourage Goes Out With A Bang...

I've been a fan of Entourage since it started.

In many ways, it was crafted to be HBO's answer to "Sex and the City" for guys.

It gives you a half hour to hang out with four people who are far cooler than you are or could possibly be.

Initially, I rolled my eyes with the storyline that had Vince getting addicted to Coke (not pictured).
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I was not alone in thinking that the first few episodes of Entourage this season were just awful.

The plot didn't seem to be going anywhere.

OK, I get it, Vince is with a porn star (Sasha Gray), Turtle is working with a Tequila company, Johnny can't find work, and E is whipped.

It felt old and played.

As I once heard, there's nothing worse than bad drug acting.
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But along the way, and frankly, I think by accident, Entourage started picking up steam.

Vince's dissent into madness started becoming more and more interesting.

The show became interesting by violating one of its central rules.

On Entourage, you always cheered for the guys.

They were the underdogs; the outsiders trying to navigate their way around Hollywood, all the while taking time to appreciate every excesses of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll.

But all of a sudden, Vince became an as***le.

I mean really an unlikable, self-destructive, ungrateful prick.

It was an interesting character choice.
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Meanwhile, Ari Gold, the picture of control, was losing his ***t.

At work, with his wife, Ari's sweet talking wasn't working anymore.

He was becoming vulnerable to attack from all forces both internally with work and with his wife's usual Saint-like patience.

Ari's sharp tongue became a problem, not his solution.

For once, he was held accountable for the awful things that he routinely says.
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In the finale, Ari and Vince both fell apart.

Vince's excess, reached a crescendo that included an ass-kicking by Eminem (a fight scene that thankfully came off better than the Zach Morris-AC Slater fight from 'Saved By The Bell')and a potential drug arrest.

Ari's self-obsession and sharp tongue cost him the only thing he professed to care about: his family.
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It's funny, in America we love to build people up and tear them down.

We love watching people reach the American Dream and then absolutely **ck it up.

It's what we do to celebs in real life, and now, it's what we've done to the fearless foursome in Entourage.
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My advice to the show, walk away.

Right now.

Don't redeem Vince in some cheesy way.

You've reached the absolute peak of my interest, now's the perfect time to peace out.

They won't, I'm sure.

The show will come back at some point and it will inevitably jump the shark.

But for now, I want to freeze this moment when the show more closely resembled "Boogey Nights" than an after school special.

Dolphins Impress During Snoozefest...

It wasn't the most exciting football game I've ever watched back on my Tivo shortly after midnight.

But still.

I was impressed with how physical (not pictured) the Dolphins were in the season opener against Buffalo.
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The perception of the game changed on two plays.

First of all, Chad Henne underthrew Brandon Marshall for what would have been the knockout blow in the 2nd quarter.

Up 10-0, Henne wanted Marshall deep, but the connection failed.

If they hit that pass, they could've REALLY gotten ugly.

The second play was Roscoe Parrish's touchdown.

4th and 11.

There was a blown coverage, touchdown Bills.

Those two plays will make fans think the Fins first win wasn't particularly impressive.

I beg to differ.
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Let me start with the offense.

I think Brandon Marshall has brought a new mentality to the Dolphins receivers and tight end.

I can't remember a game where Fins receivers were looking to HIT somebody.

Perhaps it's because Ted Ginn is allergic to contact.

I saw Marshall, Fasano, Ronnie Brown, and even Davone Bess looking to PUNISH the corners who had the audacity to try to bring them down.

That's a good thing.

My FAVORITE moment of the game was the first play of the second half.

Ronnie went for a short run and got out of bounds.

No biggie, right?

Brandon Marshall absolutely leveled a passing Buffalo defender.

That's a new dynamic to the Fins offense, and to me, it's an exciting play.
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Defense, in my mind, is harder to evaluate.

The reason is simple, the opponent is SO bad.

Trent Edwards is just awful.

CJ Spiller is exciting.

Unfortunately, his awesome preseason will allow him to sneak up on... NOBODY.

He's your prime target.

The Bills line is awful.

You are talking about a team that if it wins 5 games will be happy.
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With that said, there were three aspects of the defense that caught my eye.

First of all, they weren't kidding about Mike Nolan.

He's moving guys this way and that.

First series of the game, he sneaks Karlos Dansby to the outside to blindside the quarterback.

Talk about setting a tone.

Secondly, tackling.

The Fins were wrapping up and making open-field tackles all afternoon long.

You didn't see any of that last year.

And finally, I saw plenty of youth.

I think back to the Joey Porter-Jason Taylor-Gibril Wilson unit from last year, and things are promising.

Cameron Wake was pushing his way towards the quarterback, Jared Odrick had a nice stop... I saw potential.
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As for Chad Henne, he was fine.

Nothing spectacular.

All day, the Fins were pounding it on first and second down.

Ronnie and Ricky looked the same as always.

Chad basically had to pick up 3rd and manage-ables.

That's what he did.

He used Bess well, he gave Marshall some opportunities, and it was great to see Fasano getting involved.

All told, a win on opening day in the division, Fins fans should be happy.
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Speaking of wins in the division on opening day...

I'd like to offer a quick word about the Detroit-Chicago game.

Classic Lions.

I'm sorry, that was a catch by Calvin Johnson.

One foot, two foot, roll...

Yes, the ball popped out.

Whatever that rule is, is stupid.

The Lions are bad enough, you don't need to hose them.

And finally a word for Dallas Cowboy fans, hahahahhahahahahah!

Hakeem Nicks for President, Goodnight!

Maybe Jacory Harris Just Isn't That Good...

I love Jacory Harris (not pictured).

That is, as a person, as an interview, and as a personality.

The only problem is, all of his wonderful qualities don't translate into touchdowns.

As unpopular an idea as this may be, watching the Ohio State game, I was left with the following thought... Maybe Jacory just isn't that good.
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Jacory's yardage figures last year were impressive.

It was in the top 5 ever in school history.

But, you can't argue with the following, his interceptions cost Miami the North Carolina game and Clemson.

17 picks last year were the reason the Canes didn't take as big of a leap as they could have.
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Fast forward to the horseshoe on Saturday.

You can point to several factors.

You can break the game down however you want.

The bottom line is that Terrell Pryor played very well, and Jacory Harris played badly.

Yes, Travis Benjamin bobbled one of his interceptions.

Doesn't matter.

When you are an elite quarterback, you don't throw 4 picks in a big game (unless you're Vinny Testaverde, you throw 5!)
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It's funny, Canes nation WANTS Jacory to be good.

You can feel it.

And who could blame them?

Jacory looks the part of the next great Canes quarterback.

He talks the part of the next great Canes quarterback.

He's from down here.

He never lost a game in high school.

He says he'll wear a pink suit to the Heisman ceremony (slow down)!

Given all of these factors, we're willing to apologize for and explain away poor performances.

Jacory had a bad thumb....

Jacory is young... Wait until he's a Junior.

The sun was in Jacory's eyes...
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If Jacory were an elite college quarterback, Saturday's atmosphere would've helped him thrive.

Instead, we got more touch passes that nearly got his receivers killed.

Instead, we got more bad reads and attempts to throw into places where he shouldn't have.

Instead, we got a drive-killing interception by a defensive lineman.
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Over the last 7 years, Canes fans have been bitching about a bad call.

Saturday was a chance at redemption.

Didn't happen.

You don't need to overthink this one.

It starts and ends with #12.

If Terry Porter were playing quarterback for the U, he couldn't have done worse.

I'm not ready to declare Jacory a bust by any stretch.

But it's worth considering that perhaps we've let liking him cloud our judgement.

Tuna Is Toast

It appears Bill Parcells (not pictured) will now be not pictured.

The Dolphins' football czar (a phrase I thought should be reserved for coke dealers and despots), has decided to step aside.

He's leaving his franchise in the hands of Jeff "is your mother a hooker?" Ireland.

He leaves behind a 7-9 team who appears poised to, well, we don't know what the heck the Dolphins are going to do this season.
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Was Parcells a success in Miami?

I don't know.

He inherited a 1-15 team and it got better.

There really wasn't any other way to go.

Still, his first year, the team won a division and had a miraculous turnaround.

Was it his genius that Chad Pennington became a free agent right before the season?

Or was he lucky?
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Parcells was brought in for his drafting genius.

His first move was passing on Matt Ryan for Jake Long.

Jake's a pro bowler, but Matt Ryan's ceiling is pretty freaking high.

I'd give Parcells credit for the wildcat, but it was quarterbacks coach David Lee who is responsible for that (he brought it over from Arkansas).

Parcells brought us Pat White and Patrick Turner and a few other busts who were named Pat.
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While I grew up a Giants fan, truth is, Parcells only two titles are because of Lawrence Taylor.

Parcells constructed his defense around one of the most disruptive forces in the history of the league.

And what do you know? Championships.

Parcells has exactly zero titles without LT.
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Compare Parcells to Pat Riley.

It's no competition.

Pat Riley has brought this town one title, and now the makings of a dynasty.

Riley signed LeBron.

Parcells signed Incognito.

Advantage Pat.
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So I say, thanks for the memories Bill.

Clearly, he didn't love working with star obsessed owner Stephen Ross.

I picked up my handy-dandy Dolphins calendar today.

The front read "South Florida's biggest party."

Parcells didn't want any part of that.

He's strictly a football guy.

Albeit not a very good one.

Why I hate Boise State (and you should too)

Football is a game of passion and emotion.

Sometimes you watch because you LOVE a team, and other times you watch because you HATE them.

I must admit, I was glued to tonight's Va Tech-Boise State matchup for one simple reason: I hate Boise State (not pictured).
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Allow me to make an early important distinction.

Boise State is obviously really good.

They have one of the top teams in the country.

One of the top 2?

I don't think so.

And yet, you can pretty much pencil them in for the BCS title game.

They won their annual 'one tough regular season game' and can now coast to Arizona.
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Here are Miami's next four games: @Ohio State, @Pittsburgh, @Clemson, vs. FSU.

That is a gauntlet.

The Canes would be incredible if they could escape that run 3-1.

Here are Boise State's next 11 games: @Wyoming, vs 24 Oregon State, @New Mexico State, vs Toledo, @San Jose State, vs. Louisiana Tech, vs Hawaii, @Idaho, vs Fresno State, @Nevada, vs. Utah State.

The only hard game they have ALL year is Virginia Tech.

And it wasn't even in Blacksburg!
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I use Miami as an example because I'm a fan.

But there are plenty of other teams out there that play REAL schedules and yet, have no shot at a title because of Boise State.

I'm not blaming Chris Peterson.

He's obviously a fantastic coach.

The point is, Boise State, more than any team in college football, takes advantage of the lack of a playoff system.

With a 16 team or 8 team or 4 team playoff, they would be exposed.

When you only have to get fired up for ONE game a year, it's pretty easy to be focused on that game.
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The reason we love the NFL so much is that expression 'any given Sunday.'

There's an unpredictability to the pros.

Any matchup can go to the underdog.

It's not really the case in college.

Sure, there are upsets.

But when you have a major power masquerading as a small conference team, they're going to dominate.
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You can label me a hater, I have no objections to that.

I'm not a fan.

They're not upstarts.

They're Seniors sneaking onto the Junior Varsity team.

Congratulations Boise State.

Go beat up the WAC conference for the next months.

I'll be cheering for whoever you play in the title game (assuming it's not Notre Dame, Ohio State, or Terry Porter).

Frankly, I think your whole program is WAC.

Worst Contract Year Ever...

Trust me, it pains me to say this.

I wish I (not pictured) could pretend it wasn't happening.

I have enjoyed every single game I've watched him play since he came up to the bigs.

But Derek Jeter has been awful this year.
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Obviously, with DJ it isn't a matter of effort.

One of the traits I love most about Jeter is that he goes 100% at all times.

You never see him not hustling.

That said, the results have been atrocious this year.

I can't tell you how many times I've been driving in my car, and listened to John Stirling try to apologize away another double-play hit into by 'el capitain.'
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Let's look at his numbers.

Right now, we're in September, so this is an honest sample size.

He's hitting .266.

That's pathetic.

He's over .300 as a lifetime hitter, has over 2,500 career hits.

On-base percentage: .322.

That's TERRIBLE for a lead-off guy.
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Leads me to 2 questions: 1. What Happened? 2. What do the Yankees do about him in the future?

The answer to number 1 could be, he got old.

He's 36.

Watch him run to first.

He's clearly lost a step.

That's natural.

But you can still be successful in baseball a step slower.

I'm hopeful that he's just having a bad year.

It happens, even to the best.
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The next question is about Derek's future.

His contract runs out at the end of the year.

Could the Yankees possibly ever let him go?

I highly doubt it.

Tell me an athlete who has engendered more goodwill in a town than Jeter in NY?

Doesn't exist.

But, as a Yankees fan you have to wonder, how long should that contract be?

If he looks a step slow now, what's he going to look like in five years?
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Ah, but there's hope.

That's because it's only early September.

The Yankees are 2.5 games ahead of the Rays for first place.

They will be playing in the Playoffs.

A good post-season, and Jeter can wash away the memories of this dreadful season.

Jeter just needs to remind everyone that he's greatest when the stakes are highest.

I just hope he still has it.

For the first time in his career, I'm not so sure.

Canes Game 1: Observations From My Desk

On Thursday night, the Miami Hurricanes beat up on a team more known for its band (not pictured) than being a football juggernaut.

But still, FAMU provided the first test of the season, and in many regards, the Canes passed with flying colors.

What follows are some observations from my desk.

I hope this helpful to many of you because the game was not pictured to most (espn3 online? come on)
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Jacory:

Hard to be uber-critical of a guy who threw for 3 touchdowns and no picks in just a half of work.

Happy to see that his thumb wasn't covered and he didn't appear to have any discomfort.

But there was one moment that REALLY scared me.

Miami was up 7-nothing and Jacory wanted to throw a quick screen to Aldarius Johnson.

A blitzing defender jumped the route and SHOULD have had an interception, which would have been a pick 6.

Had it been an Ohio State defender, that would have been disastrous.

Can't happen.

Jacory's ability to clean-up mistakes will dictate how far the Canes will go this season.

No Huddle:

I like it. The Canes played with PACE on Thursday night. The question is, can they maintain it against a team that's AS athletically gifted?

That also becomes a question of conditioning.

Sure, your receivers will be fine.

But can your line maintain that tempo?

SIZE MATTERS:

Look at the size of Miami's offensive line.

What a difference a few years makes.

Remember how bare the talent was when Randy took over?

It's a totally different story.

On both sides of the ball, Miami looked physically imposing.

Again, opponent matters.

I was on the field last year when Wisconsin MANHANDLED the Canes.

Wisconsin is a middle-of-the-road Big 10 team.

Against Ohio State, Miami will get a taste of REAL Big 10 lines.

Will they be up to it?

I'm hopeful but concerned.

Thearon Who?

The Canes don't miss Thearon Collier.

I liked him.

Thought he was a dynamic returner and receiver.

But they have PLENTY of wide receivers.

Leonard Hankerson is the CLEAR number 1 on this team.

I'm really glad he decided to come back.

I think this year will make a difference for him and he will make a difference for the Canes.

Lamar Miller looks explosive in the return game.

Miami can throw Travis Benjamin back there.

I'm excited by the possibilities.

GREAT STORY, NOT READY:

My heart broke for Graig Cooper.

He was on his way to the NFL, when embarrassingly bad turf blew out his knee.

That disgraceful field in Orlando could've cost Coop millions.

To his credit, he battled all the way back.

He's back on the field.

He took contact.

Awesome.

But he's not ready for primetime yet.

The Canes have a STABLE of backs who will and should play ahead of him.

Coop needs to relax and get ready for week 6.

JAWS

Cue the music.

Adawale Ojomo is back and that dude is ANGRY.

He should be.

When a suckerpunch from a walk-on makes you eat through a straw, you play angry.

That's good.

He needs to.

I see plenty of talent from Ojomo, Vernon, and the rest of the D-Line.

BUCKEYES?

Will the Canes go into the horseshoe and beat the Buckeyes?

I have no clue.

It's going to be tough.

I was encouraged by 45-0.

It was a nice start.

Miami was a team with every reason to look ahead, and didn't.

They were focused, intense, efficient.

In a sense, this is truly a Miami team because there's speed everywhere.

I'm just concerned about the physical nature of how Ohio State is going to play.

To win, Jacory needs to play a clean game and NOT make a single, game-changing mistake.

For now, 1-0.

Gaby Sanchez And The Clothesline Of Justice...

Nyjer Morgan (not pictured) got everything that he deserved on Wednesday night.

The Washington Nationals speedster instigated and instigated until the Marlins couldn't take it anymore.

And for that I thank him.

To think, on the eve of the Canes first game, I was inspired to write a blog about the Marlins and Washington Nationals.

It was game that, much like MCI's old calling plan, was played in front of friends and family.
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Allow me to quickly lay out the case against Morgan.

His first offense was throwing a baseball into the stands.

He was suspended 7 games by MLB.

Ah, but baseball has an appeals process.

Morgan was allowed to continue to play.

You'd figure being on parole of sorts, he'd be on his best behavior.

Think again.
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So let's break down Morgan's week.

On Saturday in St. Louis, Morgan had a clear path to home plate.

Rather than score, he intentionally took a cheap shot at the catcher, hitting him hard.

Jim Riggleman, in a move that I can only describe as weak, decides to sit out Morgan for the next game.

He was protecting his guy from retaliation.

So you can dish out cheap shots, but not get hit by a pitch?

We flash forward to Tuesday night.

In a godawful game, the Marlins and Nats are scoreless in the 10th.

Morgan makes a break for home with what could be the winning run.

In lieu of sliding in, he TRUCKS Marlins catcher Brett Hayes.

Hayes holds onto the baseball.

The Marlins go on to win, Hayes is done for the year with a shoulder injury.

Rather than making a winning play, Morgan continues his assault on catchers.
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Wednesday night, Riggleman FINALLY decides to let Morgan face the music.

4th Inning, Chris Volstad of the Marlins gently plunks Morgan.

A clear intent pitch, but not hard, not around the face.

It was a pitch that said, we don't like what you did.

Fine.

Should be case closed.

But in a blowout game, Morgan decides to steal 2nd and 3rd.

I can't explain EVERY nuiance of the 'unwritten rules of baseball,' but that's considered a no-no.

It was Morgan's way of SPITTING in the face of the Marlins.
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And so, next at-bat, Volstad throws behind him.

Message sent again, knock it off.

Then, Morgan pretends like he's not going to do anything, and RUNS OUT right at Volstad.

The Palm Beach High Grad doesn't run away, he throws down his glove and is ready to go.

Morgan throws a punch, but Volstad, tall and goofy, is able to dodge the punch as if channelling the Matrix.

And then a hero came along.

Marlins first baseman Gaby Sanchez RAN in from first base and threw a WWF style Clothesline.

It was his most important hit of the season.

He showed that he's the kind of guy you WANT on your team.

He protected his pitcher.

After that, typical baseball fight, plenty of talking and piles.

But it was mean-spirited and passionate, in other words, super-entertaining.
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The bottom line is, this fight had ONE instigator and one instigator only.

Nyjer Morgan is going through something right now.

I'm not quite sure what it is, but he needs to be done for the year.

He's not 'playing hard' or the 'right way,' he's out of control and is injuring people.

As bad as I feel for Hayes about his shoulder injury, I'm emboldened by the actions of Gaby Sanchez.

When the stuff hit the fan, he showed himself to be a true teammate.

Nyjer Morgan, I hope before you hit the ground, you were taking notes.

Stand Up And Make Some Noise For Your Miami Tweeeeeeeeeeet

Scanning the twitter-verse, I came across this video posted by LeBron James.

(Click on the Title of the blog and the video will be pictured. You can do it now or after you read the blog, it's your call, I'm not going anywhere)

It's LeBron going to an open house for his son's school.

Bronny is getting ready to start Kindergarten, and LeBron checks the place out.
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There are several elements that I find fascinating about this 2:57 video.

First of all, think about how much the boundary has been stripped between athlete and fan.

In the past, we never really KNEW our sports heroes.

We didn't want to.

Information was carefully selected by sports-writers, who used to be drinking buddies with the athletes.

But somewhere along the way, the sports journalist went from trying to glorify these stars, to trying to destroy them.

Perhaps it was jealousy as the zeroes grew after the athletes' checks.

Perhaps it was just the evolving nature of "gottcha" journalism.

The end result was superstars like Michael Jordan and Derek Jeter who talk, but never actually say anything.
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In a sense, twitter has cut out the middle man.

In the past, if you were going to get a story about LeBron James as father, you'd have to rely on a writer capturing that.

The problem is, that opens the writer up to interpret the athlete's life and inject their own views.

That's what happened with the GQ cover-story about LeBron.

The article featured brief interactions with LeBron's kids, but they were told from the writer's point of view.
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That's what made this posting so interesting to me.

It was a Blair-Witch style video, and there was no filter.

It was just LeBron-as-Dad.

Of course, you could say, perhaps he's mugging for the camera a bit, manipulating his image.

Maybe.

But to me, it sure just seemed like a proud dad checking out his son's school.
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The final aspect that I liked about the clip, is that it's literally shot from LeBron's point-of-view.

So not only does the viewer get to see the world through his eyes, we also get to see HOW people react to him.

You can see parents and kids turning around with that "WHOA that's LeBron James" look on their faces.

It's a look that's real and a bit raw.
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The good news for Heat fans is that the Big three: LeBron, Wade, and Bosh are all savvy with social media.

Throughout their time here, we'll be privy to parts of their lives that they wouldn't be able to share otherwise.

As much as I'll enjoy following the basketball team, I'll also enjoy following the Miami Tweet.