Monday, August 30, 2010

Cute Pick...



This week, I have not one, but two fantasy football drafts (not pictured).

It's an annual rite of passage for any football fan.

For me, the draft is the best part of the fantasy season, it's all downhill after that.
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In terms of male bonding (or for really cool females who play fantasy sports--- such a pig I am!), there's nothing quite like a fantasy draft.

During the draft, everyone thinks they're an expert.

We've all read the same fantasy magazines, all watched the same games, and yet, we think this will help us differentiate the people who know what they're talking about, from the idiots.

It's a forum for trash talking, condescension, and overall strange grunting sounds.

Although, there's no greater insult than when one of your friends utters "cute pick," meaning you're an idiot, why on God's green earth would you draft that guy?

It is scorn masked as a backhanded compliment.
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I don't think fantasy football is dorky as some have stereotyped.

Rather, I think of it as democratic.

It gives everyone a chance to enjoy football on their own terms.

If your team sucks, no worries, perhaps your fantasy team can help you salvage Sunday.

It's not selling out your team because in the free agency era, these guys are playing musical teams anyway.
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But I do have one beef with fantasy I want to address.

It's a very simple concept.

In my mind, it's 95 percent luck.

Pure luck.

Yes, there's a tiny percentage of drafting where, if you're a total idiot, you can screw up your team.

But assuming a baseline of competency, fantasy football isn't really a skilled past-time.

You are pretending to pick real people for your fake team.

If my first-round pick blows out his knee, does that mean I know less about football?

Of course not.

Pure luck.

That one week Miles Austin went ABSOLUTELY nuts last year, and turned into an elite receiver, does it make me a genius for having selected him?

No.

I just happen to have picked him up.
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So grab a beer, grab a fantasy mag, and insult your closest friends.

Football season is drawing nigh, and don't forget to set your lineups!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

East Coast-West Coast Comedy Wars...



Los Angeles and New York have such different sensibilities.

I've lived in neither, but spent time in both.

I think the feel is epitomized by my two favorite comedies on television right now "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "Louie."

The comic feel is provided by Larry David (not pictured on the left) and Louis C.K. (not pictured on the right).
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For those of you who don't know who Louis C.K. is, do me a favor, punch yourself in the face.

I'll wait.

You're missing out on one of the brilliant comic minds of our generation.

He's 42. He's divorced. He's unhappy.

But damn if he isn't honest.

He's a fatalist, but in the most amusing of ways.

His show captures all of his best qualities.
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Larry David is pure neurosis.

You all know LD because he's the comic genius behind "Seinfeld."

Larry needed Jerry to make that show work, because he needed a friendly front-man.

Jerry's observations could pass as cute and witty.

Larry's are darker and far more fatalistic.

Jerry's likability allowed Larry to get away with more.
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So let's break down why I think the shows represent their given cities.

"Louie" couldn't be more New York.

The opening shot is Louis walking up subway stairs.

He stops to grab a slice (that you know must be delicious).

Then he walks into a comedy club.

The intro is showing you, Louis is going to let you into his world on stage and beyond (all the while Reggie Watts theme song is playing--- good luck getting it out of your head).
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The structure of the show is rough, raw, and at times unorganized.

One minute he's doing his act, the next it's a comic vignette, the next it's a really depressing scene.

It creates the same kind of chaos you might have walking around for a day in New York.

One minute I was at a broadway show, the next minute I was in a cab with a crazyman, then I saw a homeless man sing Opera before urinating on a pigeon.

Louis throws that at you at all times.
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Larry David's show is L.A.

The presentation is slick.

The pace is leisurely.

The music is a slow-paced, relaxing beat that he nods his head to as he walks down the street.

Larry David is a MASTER of narrative.

Even though LD's show is unscripted (he uses intense outlining and improving), the structure of his show is like the end of an hour-long Jenga game.

Every piece is placed for a VERY specific reason.
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Larry and Louis are both aimless in their lives, but for different reasons, and you guessed it, the reasons reflect New York and LA.

Larry focuses on the small stuff, because he's got nothing but time.

He's loaded, and has nothing better to do but focus on minutia.

Louis is aimless because he's defeated.

Life has beaten him down.

He doesn't quit.

He still tries to talk to women, get into shape, and lead a better life.

But he's old enough to know, it ain't happening.

That honesty makes him even more lovable.

If you can make it there, well he hasn't.
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Larry David gets many of his laughs from the "fish-out-water" style.

He's the neurotic Jew often having to interact amongst wasps.

That contrast works for him (and many relocated New Yorkers in LA).

Louis is surrounded by the constant freak-show of New York.

The people he encounters along the way are just so strange, by not being an absolute nut-job, he achieves the same status.
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Truth is, Curb is a far more polished show.

Consistently, it's a funnier show.

But there's a real, raw quality to Louie, that Curb just can't match.

Part of me hopes that as Louie grows, the narratives will tidy up a bit, the flow of the show will improve.

And then part of me doesn't.

The show's a little bipolar because, well, Louis is.

If you don't like it, tough.

Such a New Yorker.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Radio Daze...



So apparently I was talked about on the radio.

I'm a little confused/entertained by the whole situation.

I somehow managed to ruffle the feathers of drive-time host Sid Rosenberg (not pictured).
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Here's what happened.

On August 9th I wrote the following on my facebook page (I love that facebook timestamps): "my biggest beef with sportstalk radio is the following: self-important hosts evaluate athletes as human beings based on whether they appear on their shows or not... If they have no access they happily rip the athletes, if they appear on the show, they are "great guys" and "my good friend"... it's pathetic jock-sniffing... and worst of all, a boring listen."

I was referring to no one in specific.

I didn't mention anyone by name.

It was a general commentary about the culture of playing grab-ass with athletes, and the me-me-me-ism that pervades not just the athletes themselves, but that has seeped to the purveyors of information about said athletes.
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Furthermore, I am not facebook friends with Sid Rosenberg.

I don't have anything against him.

In fact, I met him once at the "Touchdown Club" and he was a very nice guy.

I didn't comment on his show and I wish him well.
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Given that I didn't mention him by name and we're not facebook friends, I was surprised that I happened upon this little jewel on the interwebs from Sid's blog on wqam.com (I don't mind giving a plug) the day after my post:

"Sid starts the show and the entire first segment talking about the shots that were taken at him on facebook by Dukie Lang. Sid keeps reiterating that he is always going to talk about himself because it is the Sid Rosenberg Show. Sid admits that he is very immature and doesn’t handle criticism very well."
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I'm impressed that 1. he found my comments (though we have 35 mutual friends)

2. That my comments were worthy of "the entire first segment."

With all due respect to myself, who the hell am I?

I'm basically, David on a mobile.

The only difference is, on the web, you can't hang up on me.

What did Andy Warhol say about publicity?

There's A Little Crying In Baseball...



Locker room interviews aren't as much fun as you'd think.

I've been in my share of locker rooms and clubhouses in my day.

Usually it's a large dude, fresh out of a shower, muttering meaningless cliches as he puts in earrings that are worth more than 3 years of my salary.

Every now and again, you get real emotion, such as we heard from Cody Ross and Dan Uggla (not pictured).
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I wasn't in the Marlins clubhouse after the Astros game on Sunday.

The only reason I even bothered sending a photographer was the Dolphins were off and there wasn't anything else going on.

So, I figured, what the heck?

Turns out, the Marlins let Cody go to San Francisco for nothing, and Uggla was not a happy camper.

Neither was Cody for that matter.
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I'm a little torn how about this show of emotion.

On the one hand, I'm touched.

These guys have played together for 5 years.

They're best friends.

I mean, we're talking intense bromance.

There's a brotherhood and bond that few of us can understand.

On the other hand, you play for the Marlins.

You have to know that anyone and everyone is ultimately expendible at any time.

To misquote the Godfather, "this is the life you have chosen."
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I would feign outrage about the Marlins letting Cody go, but I think it's for the best.

Cody will play for a contender.

As for Uggla, I'd say, clean away your tear-soaked, eye-black.

Everything is going to be okay Mr. Popeye arms.

You work in a business where people move around a bit.

Heck, I work in television and I've had friends leave me to move all across the country: Tampa, New Orleans, Boston and on and on.

That's just how it goes.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Cell Yourself Short...



Long time, no speak.

With the sports world in the pre-NFL season lull, I thought I'd take a moment to talk about my cell phone (not pictured).
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So I'm getting ready to leave my cruise ship, and I walk away to the bathroom for a moment.

When I return, my girlfriend is chatting up a couple from Arkansas.

They were on a cruise to celebrate their 10-year anniversary.

The husband said wistfully, "You know? I really wish I had brought my kids on this cruise. We wanted to get away, but now I miss them. And now, seeing other kids running around and having fun, I think they would've really enjoyed it."

I thought, what a good guy.

I want to relate.

So I replied, "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I haven't had my cell phone in three days. I decided not to bring it because we'd get no reception. But when I saw other people enjoying roaming, I thought, darn... shoulda brought it."

My girlfriend politely laughed at my Larry David-like obnoxiousness.

The sad part is, I kind of meant it.
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Here's why I resent technology much of the time: It creates dependency.

You learn to NEED something, that you really don't.

Fifteen years ago, no one had a cell phone.

Now, you feel naked if you don't have one for about 5 minutes.

It's unimaginable not to be reachable at all times, in fact, it's unprofessional.

You have to hand it to the cell phone companies.

They have us all hook, line, and sinker.
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Given this slight neo-luddite leaning (ironic for a person who works in broadcasting), it should be no surprise that I riled against iphones and the like.

I thought, if I wanted my laptop, I'd get my laptop.

Why do I need a phone to do SO many functions?

People drown in a sea of apps, and yet, their calls are dropping off left and right.

Isn't the point of a telephone to, you know, talk to people?
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That belief held until the minute I had the chance to upgrade my latest piece of junk.

Verizon allowed me to get their answer to the iphone.

It has apps.

It can talk.

You can teach it to do the bad-luck and the Roger Rabbit if you really wanted to.

It's touch-screen.

The thing is sick.
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But of course, by creating such a great phone, my standards have gone up again.

I now believe there are certain functions a phone should just perform.

Once again, the man has me addicted to something that I really don't need.

And so, I think back to my cruise.

I remember what it was like to be out of touch with the outside world, unreachable to anyone.

Without apps, facebook, twitter, yelp, aol, blogs, espn, and on and on and on.

In a word, it was wonderful.

So when the answer to the question "can you hear me now?" is affirmative, that's not always good.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Out Of Office Reply...





My girlfriend and I are going on a cruise (not pictured).

I'll be back early next week.

In the meantime, please take a few minutes to go through the archives and check out some of my earlier posts.

Things are going to get crazy around here during football season and once the Heat start.

Can't wait!

Happy reading and always, thanks for your continued support!

J-e-t-s Will SUCK SUCK SUCK



Count me as someone who thinks the 2010 Jets (not pictured) will not even come close to expectations.

This isn't an angry missive by a Dol-fan (while I like the Dolphins, the Giants are my first love).

I say this objectively.
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Normally, I wouldn't spend too much time thinking about the Jets, except they're the featured subject of this year's "Hard Knocks."

I've seen EVERY episode of the HBO mini-series that takes a close look at one team's training camp.

I watched the Cowboys, I watched the Bengals, and now, I'm watching the Jets.

As always with HBO, it's stellar work.

You are given unlimited access.

The tedium of training camp is translated into compelling drama.

All of a sudden the battle for 3rd string Bengals fullback becomes life or death.
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For some reason, I found the Jets utterly unlikable.

Rex Ryan is even more of a putz than I thought he was.

Now with Rex, you have to keep in mind the principal from physics "the observer effect."

The act of being observed, changes the phenomenon.

Rex is probably playing up to the cameras all the cursing (I mean every 3rd word out of his mouth is **ck).

He's trying to be the 'cool coach,' trying to show what a 'player's coach" he is.

I'll give him this, Rex has some bad-ass defenses in his day.

I just don't like him.
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But one point that the show makes abundantly clear, the Jets REALLY, REALLY need Darrelle Revis.

The lockdown corner is a Godot-figure in the first episode of "Hard Knocks."

He's not there, but he's all anyone can talk about.

Within the division, the Dolphins (who beat the Jets twice with Ted Ginn) have added Brandon Marshall, and Brady is another year removed from his injury.

In other words, you damn well better secure your secondary.

Cromartie is a really good player, but he's not Revis.

To quote the Russian character in Rounders "Gyive the myan hyis myoney.!"
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And now to the real reason I think the Jets will finish 3rd in the division.

I think they have the 3rd best quarterback.

Mark Sanchez hasn't shown me anything to indicate that he's on Brady's level, and in a close race, I'd rather have Henne.

The Jets lost Thomas Jones and brought LT who is questionable at best.

Santonio Holmes is a Super Bowl MVP, but a character problem.

Braylon Edwards is a fantastic wide receiver, except for the bulk of the time when he has the dropsies.

Jason Taylor will be thrown into the mix and I actually think he'll have a decent year (6, 7 sacks).
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After watching "Hard Knocks," I think the Jets are convinced that this is their year.

I'm convinced that they're frauds and will return to earth this year.

There's going to be an odd-man-out between the Pats, Fins, and Jets.

I'm guessing it'll be wearing Green.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Jet Blue... He Needed The Money



Steven Slater (not pictured) is not a hero, he's an ass**le.

The Jet Blue flight attendant had reached his wits end.

He went off on a passenger over the intercom, grabbed a beer (a funny touch), and slid away to glory.

To me, that's epitome of someone acting unprofessional.
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What's crazy is that people are celebrating him.

Someone on facebook told me "it's 'Take this job and shove it' taken to the next level."

As if, the ability to just go off on people is the ultimate form of wish fulfillment.
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Look, I love "Office Space" as much as the next movie geek.

Peter Gibbons represents what it's like to work for a monster boss in a thankless position.

HE is the ultimate work anti-hero.

He stops going to work, get promoted for it, and then steals from the company.
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There are two key differences between Gibbons and this now-famous flight attendant.

The first, is that Peter worked at a tech company.

He didn't see clients face-to-face.

Steve Slater signed up for this.

The job of flight attendant entails, serving Blue Chips, making sure the safety exits are all clear, and not acting like a douchebag.

If he couldn't meet these requirements, he should've found something else to do.

Oh the other big difference, Peter Gibbons isn't real.

In real life, you're not supposed to flip out at your boss or the customers, especially in this economy.
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That's the real reason I think he's being celebrated.

In the bad economy, many people are stuck working jobs they don't want or just feeling grateful to HAVE a job.

And so, this guy getting to vent makes him a hero.

I think the opposite.

In this economy, you are lucky to have a job, even if its peddling Blue Chips.

The worst part of this, he's going to make a fortune off his bad behavior.

Get ready for his reality show.

I won't be watching (unless my girlfriend dvr's it).

Monday, August 9, 2010

Back In The Booth...




The Miami Dolphins quietly made their best off-season move today.

"Mad Dog" Jim Mandich (not pictured) will be back in the broadcast booth to call games in 2010.

Put simply, he represents everything that is right with the franchise, with football, with radio, and with South Florida.
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There's been a tremendous void on the air since Mad Dog became ill earlier in the year and decided to end his daily show.

Obviously, as someone who worked on his show for 8 years or so, I had a personal interest in Mad Dog's show.

But that's not what his return to the air is about.
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I've missed him most as a listener.

He offers a sense of perspective and fun that is unmatched by anyone in the market.

He's been in our town for over 40 years and his keen insight is lost in a wave of juvenile pretenders.
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Nobody knows the Miami Dolphins like Mad Dog.

He's been there through every up and down.

He was on the field during the perfect season.

He was in the booth for the Marino-era.

His contacts have contacts.

And most importantly, he truly loves everything that the Miami Dolphins were and can be.
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Mad Dog is best known for his phrase "ALRIGHT MIAMI."

It's something that he screams in moments of pure joy.

But, when you have someone who knows so much about the team, when he yells that, you know, it's truly "ALRIIIIGHT."
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Football is a game that's about passion and dedication.

He doesn't make a show about it, but nobody is more prepared for a game than Mad Dog.

Even though on the surface, he's a homer, he's really not.

He can be critical.

He can say that the offense stinks right now, or the defense needs blitz more, because he really knows.

When he does criticize the team, you know that it's coming from a place of love and that all he wants is for the team to ultimately succeed.
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On top of all that, the man is battling cancer.

But, as he always says, no whining, no complaining.

During my 8 years of writing for him, no matter what was happening in my life, I would always send him a show.

Never missed a day.

He once told me, "You line up and play."

That's the bottom line.

I've taken that lesson to heart and he continues to embody it.

When the season starts, Mad Dog is lining up and playing.

We're all better for it.

I'll be listening.

Pryor Notice...



I just attended the University of Miami's annual preseason lunch.

It's a chance to meet with Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt and fellow members of the media (and get a free lunch).

As I ate my burger, all I could think about was Terrelle Pryor (not pictured).
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One month and two days.

That's how long we have to wait for Miami at Ohio State.

Normally, you would say, one game on the schedule, whatever.

And yes, Miami can have a great season without beating the Buckeyes.

Many fans are judging this season based on winning an ACC title or at least getting to the Conference Championship game.

That's all well and good.

I'm focused on Ohio State and Terrelle Pryor.
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Life isn't fair.

Sports can be.

That's one of the reasons I think so many of us gravitate towards watching other people exercise.

There are rules.

There's right and wrong.

What happened to Miami in the 2002 National Championship game was just wrong.

In my history of watching sports (ie my lifetime), it may be the most unfair moment I've ever seen.

You can't take away a national title with a late call that's specious at best and HORRIFIC in all actuality.

But that's what Terry Porter did.

I have friends who are Canes fans who have said things about Terry Porter that would make Louis CK blush.

And I can't say I disagree.

It's not an accident that his initials are TP.
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Which leads me back to the other TP.

If you only watched the Rose Bowl last year, you'd think the Canes are in for a long, long afternoon at the horseshoe.

There is the small matter of the rest of Terrelle's career, that has me feeling hopeful.
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For me, I'm really sick of hearing how great these Canes players are going to be.

Between Sean Spence, Marcus Forston, Aldarius Johnson, and Jacory--- I'm sick of hearing about the promise of the Canes.

And those are only some of the kids from Northwestern High School.

This is the season where they DELIVER.

This is the season where the preseason ranking at 13 is low.

This is the season where that "Jacory for Heisman" facebook thread, isn't just a good natured joke by Canes lovers.

This has to be.

The NCAA is investigating Miami for a text message scandal.

I took that as a good sign.

They don't investigate the Canes, unless they're good.
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But all of that starts with messing Terrelle Pryor up.

They have to brutalize him.

I remember a few years ago, the Canes acquitted themselves pretty well against Tim Tebow at the Swamp (before, ironically enough, the game turned on a horse**it call).

But those Canes weren't ready for the stage, and Tebow was at a level well above Miami.

I hope the shoes is on the other foot this time.

I think Pryor isn't ready for what he's going to face.
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TP isn't the first big-name quarterback the Canes have faced.

During the height of the program, the U LONGED to face these much ballyhooed QB's.

The more the hype, the better to obliterate.

It's time to get back to that.

This isn't just about 2010 Canes.

This is about the 2002 Canes.

This is about what's right and just in this universe.

This is about truth, justice, and the American way.

God help me if the game is decided by a bad call!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Te-Bald




Rookie Hazing in the NFL is no joke.

Just ask Tim Tebow (not pictured.)

Tebow...

(Wait, that's him? He is pictured? You gotta be ***Ting me, are you serious?)

Wow!
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Usually, I use my blogs to amplify some point that's bothering me or make some observation about life or people.

That's not really the point of this one.

Let's just all sit back and laugh at the funny picture.

I mean come on, Sweeney Todd was kinder to his haircut clients.

Happy football season everyone!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Foul Ball? Foul Call!




A baseball season is long, I mean really long.

So rarely do I get up-in-arms about game.

But, what happened to the Marlins last night was just awful.

They lost because of a game-winning hit that was called a foul ball (not pictured).
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Let me paint the picture.

After the predicatable bullpen meltdown in the 9th, the Marlins had a chance to win the game in walk-off fashion.

Former Cane Gaby Sanchez laced a ball right past the third base bag, and CLEARLY inside the line.

The players were getting ready to rush onto the field.

The winning run was on its way in from second.

Chris Coghlan was ready with a pie (too soon?)

However, faster than you can say England-Germany in the World Cup, Bob Davidson inexplicably called the ball foul.
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Edwin Rodriguez ran out to protest.

I was shocked he didn't get ejected.

He should've ripped up the bases.

He should've kicked dirt.
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Predictably, after the call, the Marlins bullpen blew the game in the 10th.

Look, the Marlins are not a playoff team this year.

Their bullpen is awful.

Their lineup has holes.

They're going to lose their fair share of ballgames.

It's just a shame when they lose games, that they actually won!

At the risk of being obvious, replay anyone?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Finding His Religion...



I think as much as anyone else, I was suprised to hear the reports about Amar'e Stoudemire (not pictured).

The Knicks new 100-million dollar man suddenly started tweeting in Hebrew.

He then decided to make a pilgramage to Israel to explore his Jewish roots.
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My natural impulse was to be dismissive.

I'm not proud to say it.

I'm just somewhat cynical by nature.

A basketball player moves to the market with the largest Jewish population in the United States, and all of a sudden throws on a Yarmulke?

I thought perhaps he was sucking up to his fan-base a bit.
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And then I watched the following interview with Israeli television:



Watch it.
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It's striking.

His sincerity is overwhelming.

Here's a young man with everything you can ask for.

He's got money.

He's got the big contract.

He's playing on the biggest stage (albeit an average team).

And yet, he's going all Siddhartha.

He's running out and having his existential quest to connect with his heritage.

Contrast that with other free agents.

It's refreshing and interesting.

I won't be cheering for the Knicks next season, but I do think Amar'e is pretty freaking cool.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

We Are The Show...



A portion of the Heat's schedule is out.

Miami opens the season Oct. 26th at the Boston Celtics (not pictured).

The other games we know about are Orlando for the home opener and of course, the Lakers on Christmas in LA.
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Here's the thing about the Heat schedule.

It doesn't really matter who they play.

All 82 games, the Heat are the show.

I remember in the early stages of the franchise, when you'd look forward to Michael Jordan or Karl Malone coming to town.

The Heat were bad and you waited for the opposition to make the game interesting.

If there wasn't a worthy opponent, there would be plenty of empty seats at the old Miami Arena.
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My how that has changed!

41 road games this year, 41 sellouts.

Print it.

The Heat are the biggest story in the NBA and likely all of sports starting on Oct. 26.

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So bring on whoever you want, in whatever order you want.

Wade, LeBron, and Bosh will be ready.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Crawling To History



It's hard to defend AROD (not pictured) sometimes.

It really is.

His pursuit of 600 home runs can be called nothing short of embarrassing.

Today, my father, who has been watching the Yankees for over 50 years, told me AROD is his least favorite Yankee ever.

That's pretty harsh.
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From a pure talent standpoint, AROD is one of the greatest of all-time.

That's hard to argue.

Yes, his numbers were inflated by his steroid use.

But he did play during the height of the steroid era.

But I'm not making any sweeping moral judgements on Alex based on history right now.
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Instead, I want to talk about his last 40 or so at bats.

Ever since home run 599, AROD has been an absolute mess at the plate.

The man with power to all fields, now has power to none.

If any pitch is mildly in a sweet spot, he's almost toppling-over with self-congratulatory swings.

He's the definition of someone who is pressing.
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It's annoying on so many levels.

Every time he comes to the plate, we have to wait while specially-marked baseballs are brought in so the historic event can be properly documented.

I wonder: Do the balls say "Choker," "wussy," or "egomaniac?"

Or are they really insulting?
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Honestly, I think Derek Jeter needs to punch him in the face.

Alex's chase of a personal goal has put the Yankees' season on pause.

While this guy is putzing at the plate, the Yankees are sputtering.

And worst of all, Tampa is hot as can be.

The Yankees and Rays are now tied for first.
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But Alex doesn't care.

Every time he walks up to the plate, the flashbulbs are going, which is really all that he wants.

All that Alex is thinking about is his 600th.

All that Yankees fans want is a cleanup hitter who picks up his skirt and drives a ball into the gap once in a blue moon.

One day I'll tell my grandkids about AROD's race to history.

I just hope they aren't born by the time he finally ****ing does it!

A Midsummer Night's Dream Within A Dream Within A Dream



This afternoon I saw "Inception" (not pictured).

Going into the movie, there were plenty of expectations.

I knew from Facebook that this was going to be a 'thinkpiece.'

Everyone who had seen it suggested that this film was so complicated.

Then, the day before I saw it, I received the following text from my brother "Saw Inception. It was great you would hate it."

It was followed up with the following text "You would compare it to the matrix because it has imagination and ideas."
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Allow me to clarify his point.

I make no misgivings about this.

I don't love "imagination" in films.

I'm in no way a science fiction fan.

I go to the movies for good writing, strong acting, and verisimilitude.

That's right, give me some explosions, nachos, and versimilitude... and I'm happier than a pig in ***t.

I want movies to explain the world around me or introduce me to people I wouldn't ordinarily meet.

I don't need to be transported to some magical world with fake named creatures and a hero's quest (I'm looking at you 'Lord of the Rings' series).
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But Inception wasn't some novel idea.

It was simply a manifestation of Freud's "The Interpretation Of Dreams" featuring the chick from "Juno."

I thought the film executed the premise well and did it in an entertaining way.
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First of all, you can't talk about dreams without talking about the father of psychiatry.

The film talked about "three levels of sleep."

Paging the ego, superego, and id.

You can only manipulate people's ideas by reaching that ultimate, deepest level.

In other words, you need to implant the instinct into their id.

So far, I'm not lost.

The id is also where your inner most, deepest instincts lie.

Now to Freud that often involved fornication and family, but the movie mercifully doesn't touch that (Freud did a lot of drugs).

In this case, the inner most workings of the id were represented by safes and locks.

And whenever you had a safe, someone would reveal their inner-most desires and-or secrets.

A simple enough conceit.
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The movie also incorporated much of the literature that I've read about manipulation.

Being a public policy major at an elitist school, we focused on that a lot.

The basic premise is, in order to truly get someone to do something you want them to do, they must be convinced that it is their idea.

The movie played that out.

And then just for the true geeks out there, the movie threw in a fight scene on the slopes that was reminiscent of the Hoth snow battle in "Empire Strikes Back."
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I really enjoyed "Inception," but I'm a little bummed that it was SOOO complex to people.

Any college freshman should be able to get this movie.

Or am i dreaming?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

The Baitful Dead...



I recently attended a big event here in South Florida, the culmination of Lobster Mini-Season.

It's called Lobster Dinner (not pictured).

I know it wasn't the only big lobster party around town this weekend.

It's not often that I do blogs by request.

But, sitting at a long, lobster-decorated table, I was asked, 'Are you going to write a blog about this?'

I thought, sure, why the heck not? As Mad Dog used to tell me, I can sing for my supper.
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First of all, I wish I had thought of the title of this blog.

Combining the Grateful Dead and fishing would've been a masterstroke I gladly would've claimed.

Sadly, it's not original.

I read it off of a t-shirt at said dinner.
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So South Florida fisherman who have proper permits are allowed to go back into the water hunting for Lobster on August 6th.

So what's the big deal about Mini-Season?

Why the copious news coverage and interest?

From what I'm told, lobster-hunting is difficult.

But, during mini-season, the tasty victims are so plentiful that even an idiot can leave with their limit.

So, for skilled lobster-folk, it's not really a big deal.

But for newbies, this is their time to pounce.

For the skilled-folk, this is batting practice.
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I grew in a household that celebrated everything, big time.

I'm fairly certain this was driven more by my mother's love for Publix cupcakes than the actual holidays themselves.

Still, I was brought up to appreciate festive.

Lobster Dinner was that and then some.

From fake lobsters on the tables, a lobster dive flag on the front door, and my favorite touch, a lobster-themed necklace, this was wall-to-wall lobster.
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I think too often people celebrate the wrong parts of South Florida.

Even LeBron James during his announcement: "I want to take my talents to South Beach."

That perception of our town, that it's just about clubs, cheesy music, and cheesier people.

I think image that sort of misses the point of what it means to be in South Florida.

Lobster dinner didn't.