US Against The World

God Bless Landon Donovan (not pictured).

Never in my life did I think on ONE tv screen I'd have an England-Slovenia game where I was PRAYING for a Slovenia goal, and on the other, I'd watch the US go toe-to-toe with Algeria.

But that was the situation on Wednesday.

The US was in one of those "win or get help" situations, and help wasn't coming.

The 90th minute arrived and I was standing next to Joe Zigacki, the voice of the Miami Hurricanes.

Joe said to me, Dukie, that may be a LOONNNNG flight home.

Then its flashed on ESPN: 4 minutes of extra time.
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During the minute before Donovan's goal, I was working myself into a frenzy of rage.

Earlier in the game, Clint Dempsey scored a goal for the US, but it once again, was wiped off the board.

A BS off-sides call was the culprit this time.

Sure, the US blew chances, but how deflating must that have been for Bob Bradley's bunch?

I said to myself, F this sport.

Really.

For whatever reason, be it political, economic, jealousy, that we're new to the sport...

American goals don't count.

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

For whatever reason, we couldn't get a break and it makes the rest of the world delighted that we can't.

I thought to myself, how can I emotionally invest in sport, where my team legitimately doesn't have a chance to win? To make it even more personal, that's my country.

F that.

If the US doesn't score here, I'm done with it...
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I didn't even get the word "it" into my brain, before a frenzy of joy and elation.

Landon Donovan did what elite players are supposed to do in crucial situations, he found a way to win.

As the Americans formed a dogpile on the side of the pitch, I felt myself well up with unbridled jingoism.

You know what rest of the world??? You don't want the US to do well at soccer? Tough **it.

We're coming to beat you at your own game.

American imperialism on the pitch and in your face.
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So there you have it soccer, you almost lost me and then won me over BIG TIME in the span of about 90 minutes.

Honestly, I don't really care about the typical soccer questions... Will soccer ever catch on in the US and blah blah blah...

What I do care about is *THIS* US team.

They overcame horrible officials, slow starts, uneven defense, the vuvuzelas, and the hatred of the world, and won their group for the first time since 1930.

Bring on Ghana Saturday.

I believe.

Swallow Your Whistle...

I don't know all the rules of soccer, but I do know that Koman Coulibaly (not pictured) called an AWFUL game on Friday.

The ref from Mali blew a CRITICAL call that cost the US a win in the World Cup.

Now, technically, because England's been so dreadful in the World Cup, the US can win its last match of the opening round and advance to the Round of 16. (the only highlight of England's performance so far has been David Beckham's suits, the man can dress).

That's fine.

But the match I watched on Friday was an absolute disgrace to sport, and this knucklehead should never be allowed on a pitch again.
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I kid you not, I really think the match was fixed.

There's one of two culprits.

Either, the ref had a POLITICAL reason to hate the US (not out of the realm of possibilities--- although my knowledge of US-Mali relations is limited) *OR* this guy was on the take.

THROUGHOUT the match, it was called ONE WAY, and some of the calls were absurd.

A key US player received a yellow card for what appears to be breathing.

Short of putting on one of the Slovenia jerseys (which looked like they were designed by Charlie Brown), the ref COULD NOT have been more biased.
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The number one objective of good officiating is to make yourself invisitble.

That goes IN PARTICULAR for the end of game situations.

In the 4th quarter, 9th inning, 85th minute...

That's not time for you to "step up" refs, it's time for you to stand down.

Sports should be decided by the combatants.

That's why we watch.

Nobody wants to see a contest decided by a whistle, especially an errant, ignorant one.
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I feel for the US players.

I really do.

They busted their asses to make a tremendous comeback down 2-nil and HAD the chance to walk away with a win.

That win was taken away.

Saturday FIFA is reviewing his performance.

Not much to review.

He sucked.

Now it's time to take away this guy's whistle.

In Defense Of The Vuvuzela...

There's controversy surrounding the World Cup because of a noisemaker called the Vuvuzela (not pictured).

If you've watched any of the games, it essentially sounds like there's a perpetual buzz.

In fact, while watching the United States' final friendly against Australia, my girlfriend was first convinced that there were bees in my apartment, and then kindly asked me to mute the TV.
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It's gotten so bad that on Sunday, the organizer of the World Cup said they are considering banning them from the games.

Now you would think, being a neophyte to the sport, I'd be all for this decision.

You'd be wrong.
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During the World Cup, we're guests of the country of South Africa.

This month is for that country to showcase its cultural and traditions.

For one month every four years, I take an intense interest in the beautiful game, and then it falls to the backburner (like many Americans who are casual soccer fans).

But while I'm in that world, who am I to start dictating how people enjoy themselves?

It's not my sport.

It's not my country.

My job is to observe, to learn, to appreciate.

Not to start calling the shots.

If that's the tradition, that's the tradition.

Would I like someone from abroad to come here and end "the wave" (of course I would, it's godawful, but that's not really part of my rhetorical argument)?
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Soccer and sports are about expressions of who you are and what you want to be.

If that's how the fans of South Africa and from around the world want to enjoy their game: cool.
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I was a Cameron Crazy in college.

We had strange chants, rituals, face-paintings.

We were a bunch of nerds who slept out in the cold for 6 weeks, to try to heckle North Carolina's basketball players.

It was strange and bizarre.

If I were an outsider in Cameron, I'd think, what an annoying freakshow (that was always the point).

As a Cameron crazy, I wouldn't want someone telling me how to or how not to cheer.
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So if that's what makes the fans in South Africa happy, I say, Vuvuzela away my friends.

It's better than letting Bieber sing. (callback!)